Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Snow Day

I'm sure I looked quite a character trudging up the road, bundled from top to bottom in those mismatched winter clothes from the cupboard.  

But I felt warm wrapped in the scarf I knit myself with wool from Vermont sheep. Trudging up the road in my mismatched socks and clunky Sorels, I remembered the farmer's market where I bought those skeins of grey yarn, happily chatting with the vendor about her sheep.  Itchy as it is and uneven stitched as it may be, that scarf dresses me in memories.

These blizzard days off are magical in the way snow days probably only are for teachers and their students. Fresh air fills my lungs and pinks my cheeks This day after walk cleans all kinds of dusty places inside me.  My pace is slowed, sun smiles on my face, and I'm living under the bluest sky I think I've ever seen. Suddenly there's time. Time to think. To nap. To walk. To breathe.  There's beauty in my world and just down my road.

Gratitude walks by my side.  Awe tags along pointing out the snow-covered curve of that path and the gentle movement of those clouds.  How easy it feels to live in my world today.  How simple. Uncluttered. Peaceful.

Tomorrow's worries wander on some other horizon.  I won't be hurrying or worrying or scurrying today. Today, hope lives in the warmth of this very moment - tucked in and snug.  Maybe tomorrow, all my mismatched socks might frazzle me and maybe tomorrow, I'll find some new cobwebs in my corners.  But not today.

Today's a snow day and my branches stretch big and wide in all that open sky.

Peace, Barbara

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Snow Hope

The snow's coming down like rain this morning. One flake after another covers our brittle, ice-hardened world. The whole house - hushed.  Our cars are parked. Muffins bake in the oven and candlelight dances on the kitchen ceiling. It's a quiet world today. Reflective. Calm. And a little sleepy.  It's a cleansing snow. Snow hope.

The world's whitewashing has me paying special attention today.  Hope's had a hard week around here.  Home hasn't felt all that warm or cozy or safe.  Just as we have slowly crossed the icy terrain in our front yard, this family's had to step carefully around each other this week. We've had some misses. Mistakes. Miscommunication. Missed opportunities.  Our priorities - misguided a bit.

We misunderstand. And we've been misunderstood.  Both. And it's at times like this hope needs to push past these missteps to clear away a new path for us walk. It's not easy, but hope can manage. Family life needs a new beginning sometimes. We need to find patience, forgiveness, and trust nestled among the soup cans on a snowy Saturday like this. We need hope's nourishment, warmth, and promise.

Tomorrow's new beginning will come, sun shining every frozen crystal out there with brilliance and beauty. but we can start in here today. Our home can be hope full today and we can count our blessings like snowflakes. We can remember all the ways we love curled up in the comfort of each other's company. We can forgive by the fire.  

And later, when we head out there to that snow-covered world, we'll breath more freely in all that's fresh, clean, and new. Working together, our shovels will toss our worry to the snow pile by the roadside.  And leave it out there.

Peace, Barbara

Peace, Barbara

Monday, January 19, 2015

A New Hopeful Year

Not sure of the best place to begin after four months away from writing here. Beginnings are always the most challenging part of any writing piece for me. So many possible directions to take or excuses to make about why I haven't written.  I could also just jump right in, like so ..


It just feels like the right time to be back. To begin. Again.

Hopefully, I'll be getting some technical help in the not-too-distant future so this blog-o-mine can shift to WordPress and get some spiffy updates.  I realized awhile ago that I've been using that lack of techno-savvy as an excuse for not writing. Also? I've been playing around on Instagram much to my great satisfaction and delight.  No DSLR camera though until the new laptop's paid off. Yep. I'm full of reasons for not writing. No technical skill. No  camera. No time. No energy. No voice. No purpose .. what's this blog  supposed to be ABOUT anyway?

No. More. Excuses.

I write in my head all the time, so might as well make the time and just empty it all out.  Maybe I'll write about school one day and a really good granola recipe the next.  I might share a new book I've read or some ideas about spreading hope in this world of ours. It makes sense to me to share the bits and pieces of my life and the hope I find along the way. Being hopeful is sorta synonymous with new beginnings .. so here's mine. And you'll wait me out with the Iphone pics, right?

So, like some thousands of folks world-wide, I've been thinking about declaring a Word of the Year since the big ball dropped introducing 2015. And I've decided I really can't commit. Since each day has its own flavor, and my thoughts, moods, needs, and feelings shift around a bit, it makes more sense to work around a word of the day - or so. Lo and behold ... believe it or not ...  today's word was WRITE.  No time like NOW to get started then. I don't like breaking promises to myself.

I need a writing focus in my life. I need to explore writing from an artistic and communicative point of view, but I also need to write to learn. Writing is a work out. I write to learn about my relationships, spirituality, and thought patterns - both positive and destructive. I write to know me.

A Letter from Mom is a new series of letters I'm writing weekly to my children. They're love letters, really. Maybe someday they'll be important to them. Maybe someday they'll hold onto my words to remember my voice.  I wonder if I should record them somehow as an audio file? I don't need them to write back, I need them to know me. I weep to think I won't always be with them. I weep to know I'm beginning a a life independent from them just as they are beginning one independent of me. As they should. It's been a tough time for me. And I weep. Tears sometimes seep right out of me. Still, there's always hope - even in tears. Hope for a new kind of relationship with my grown children. Hope for a new life direction beginning for me.

There are bright spots in the hope of any beginning. I am at my most hopeful when I look for it. This little blog gives me an opportunity to find that hope and share it with all of you. I'll keep looking for those bright moments in each day's beginning, look for new words to think about and write about. And I know I'll find some hope in the bluest skies painted here and there - even in the middle of winter.

Hope is where you find it.

Peace ~ Barbara